Soul to Soul

Painful Silence

2010-04-03T21:42:00.005+02:00

Isn't strange?!
When need to talk most
You find your silence
When you needed to spill the worlds
You find it only inside
It doesn't want to go out

No More Bad Treatments .. Metro Market Stuff

2008-09-06T20:57:00.002+02:00

So Upset from last week
I forgot my birthday and Ramadan present just as i was paying the money to the cashier girl Metro Market in Haram.
I just put it down and forgot it due to crowd and also i bought lots of things that day
First there was no one to put the things for us
second Metro's bags are very weak and bad"always refuse to open you've to struggle with it and can't put many things in the bag as it can't handle"
Third i lost it 1st of Ramadan at 5:30 PM when i went to ask for it the supervisor was very rude saying what present bag we don't have any thing and left!
Couldn't believe his rudeness
and couldn't believe that some can steel something 1st day of Ramadan and just before eftar!
after that i really decide that unless i can't get my simplest rights and the good treatment i won't buy any thing again from Metro and i send them a complain
At least you could offer a place for bags like Metro in Teriomf for example!
And above all people who treat with customers in a good way!
And goodbye to the family market that we spend lots in it!

Wherever You Are I'm Sure You Can Feel Me

2008-02-22T22:15:00.005+02:00

So so long my dear old space
Here I'm after long tiering day
thinking of him
Waiting for a miracle
may be z little good fairy
will come to me also through z window
just above my bed
and tell me all his news
How he is doing?
Is it snowing also where he is?
Is he setting in bed now looking through window
and thinking of me?

Dreaming..
May be in my dreams i could do it!
Could i have a bigger miracle that turned me to little fairy
just like dear Tinkerbel
ohh wish if i could

Will go with him everywhere he goes
Will fly over him and make sure he is safe
Will always be close to him and enjoy his company
And
Will rest upon his shoulder whenever i feel tired of flying

Will make him laugh if i saw him sad
Will encourage him as he always do with me
Will whisper i love him and I'll always be here even in his dreams
as he is trying to sleep

Will capture the love he always give me in his look
And flowers' smells he always brings when he said good morning to me

Still there is snow somewhere
Are you also still here somewhere dear Santa?
Can i still make a wish?

This year i write you long mail
telling you lots of news
but still didn't send it
Did't show you my engagement photos

Would you take me where he is
or
Bring him safely to me

Can you give me a ride overseas?
I know u'll never stood a true heart up

Never thought it will be so difficult like that
Whole 5 weeks far away
Another country and sea that seperate us

2 Passes like years
Still 3 left
And i'm starting already taking to myself
Sometime before i sleep
i remember many things
And i feel as i if i'm seeing him close to me
Just need to raise my hand beside and i'll touch the dear face
and i do it
but i'm dreaming! it's nothing but air!

Wish if we could bring beloved people to us
just by missing thoughts and imagining there dear faces

wish if we'll find them by doing this back again with us!

Goodnight Dear old friend and lover
I'm sure you can hear me
even when i say good morning to z nile and sun
for both of us

Oh God I Need You!

2007-08-12T21:12:00.001+03:00

"When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on."
~Franklin D. Roosevelt.

I heard it once on radio from him
and i fall in love with it and remember a friend

She was so so down
and when i heard the episode and the quote
i remembered her awe
and wrote it here in the blog and was going to write a long letter to her

I don't know why i couldn't wrote the letter
instead it i told her i wish if you can cry hard
and i'll hold you for long
then we can draw and paint

Lets will draw many happy faces and smiles
Lets draw the world as we want it and we wished it become
Lets use all the happy colors in the world

Now in the middle of all this sudden family crises and big unsolved problems
in the middle of losing him in away above all these
and thinking badly of setting him free

i found my self remember badly these words
and that post
and keep whispering inside

Tie a Knot
Hang on
Tie a knot
Hange on

Resist
Live
Love
Smile

Help is on the way
Just tie a knot
and keep on praying and say
oh god help me

Sight!!

2007-07-26T14:21:00.000+03:00

After the 'miracle' of my short period of
sight - I realize - I'd rather play for the Rangers.

(laughs from the dark)

It's not that it was so awful - I saw many
things - some good, some back some that
I'm already forgetting.

But I realized that our eyes aren't what
make us see. We only live in darkness
when we don't look
look at what is genuine about ourselves
genuine about others
you don't need eyes for that.

.......................

Virggel-At First Sight

Lovely Song &Nice Movie

2007-07-04T02:52:00.000+03:00

RAGE

2007-06-21T18:53:00.000+03:00

Never thought that he could do that to me

Power That Touch Souls

2007-05-22T21:41:00.000+03:00

Do you believe in that kind of power
the power of things you can't see
but definitely feel its power
feel how they are so strong
and so deep

words
thoughts
feelings
songs
music
dance
prays
a hug
a single touch on hand
a worm statement from a friend telling you it is gonna be alright
and even seeing beautiful scenes

found that post by coincidence
and i guess i share her/him that power
and those lines

Have you ever been running through life
and catch a glimpse of an image
that immediately reminded you of a significant moment in your life.
How about a certain smell that you rarely experience
that causes a memory in your mind to come
flooding to the forefront in your life at that very moment?
How about the power of a song?
When a song comes on the radio and
you immediately find yourself drawn
into the memory of a scene that you once experienced

A kiss Still a Kiss in Casablanca

2007-05-19T06:59:00.000+03:00

Second Sight

2007-05-09T13:55:00.000+03:00

I just wanted you to comfort me
When I called you late last night, you see
I was falling into love
Yes, I was crashing into love
Of all the words you said to me
About "Life," "The Truth," and "Being Free"
Yeah, you sang to me
Oh, how you sang to me

Girl, I live for how you make me feel
So I question all this being real
'Cause I'm not afraid of love
For the first time I'm not afraid to love
This day seems made for you and me
And you showed me what life needs to be
Yeah, you sang to me
Oh, you sang to me

All the while you were in front of me I never realized
I just can't believe I didn't see it in your eyes
I didn't see it, I can't believe it
Oh, but I feel it when you sing to me

How I long to hear you sing beneath the clear blue skies
And I promise you this time I'll see it in your eyes
I didn't see it, I can't believe it
Oh, but I feel it when you sing to me

Just to think inside of me I had no idea how this could be
Now I'm crazy for your love
Yes, I'm crazy for your love
The words you said just sang to me
And you showed me where I wanna be
You sang to me
Oh, you sang to me

All the while you were in front of me I never realized
I just can't believe I didn't see it in your eyes
I didn't see it, I can't believe it
Oh, but I feel it when you sing to me

How I long to hear you sing beneath the clear blue skies
And I promise you this time I'll see it in your eyes
I didn't see it, I can't believe it
Oh, but I feel it when you sing to me

mark anthony - you...

...........................................

Wild Cat As Z My DNA Test Shows!

2007-05-06T12:23:00.000+03:00

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

Nice test i got today from Marmar
I love those test
And i'm sure u'll love it
And be careful my friend
Here we have a wild cat neaaaw

by7'awefne el ba7r el hade

2007-05-02T10:03:00.000+03:00

So should Cinderella went to the party??
She is going to
She make a promise
But still..!!
You know
She is happy and terribly scared
more than any other time passed by
I guess she will need lots of magic tonight to keep her calm
and back safely home as soon as she could
Cinderella what would you do?
Would you step out and open an inside door?
Or stays home safe away from this road

Never Yet In Any Port Their Coming Mentioned Be

2007-04-12T22:57:00.000+02:00

Two butterflies went out at Noon --
And waltzed upon a Farm --
Then stepped straight through the Firmament
And rested, on a Beam --

And then -- together bore away
Upon a shining Sea --
Though never yet, in any Port --
Their coming, mentioned -- be --

If spoken by the distant Bird --
If met in Ether Sea
By Frigate, or by Merchantman --
No notice -- was -- to me --

Two butterflies went out at Noon -- by Emily Dickinson

Why People Marry And Enter The Cage?!

2007-04-11T19:22:00.000+02:00

As kid who never get it
I kept asking my self
Why people enter that marriage cage by their own well ??
:D

Coming To You

2007-04-07T08:23:00.000+02:00

Happy
Full of anxious and hope

Can't believe it
I'm coming to you dear old friend
I wish i could make it bgad

Want to tell you lots of things
many many things
and listen to you
ur voice and waves

Need to feel the worm sand under my feet
then playing with ur small fresh waves

I'm scared dear old friend
and need you to tell me what do do
i feel i can't make that step forward
but still
.....
i don't know

you will be the only one
who will understand

need to write lots of things
and send it by ur waves
i know u 'll be kind on my soul writings

So
going to back up now
wait 4 me ya Alex
by sunset isa I'll be there isa
I love to travel and see sunset in my way

Dear old friend
Miss you awe aw awe
and coming

Sudden Hit

2007-04-02T08:52:00.000+02:00

That is all i want to do these days
just sitting there
may i find rest
may be i could understand
may be running away from all these quickly following events
last night a family member passed away
death always tricks you and attack
u keep fearing something
and it happens but to another person

begin to hate celebrating days
begin to become gathering 4 an illness or death

reading blue's last post and mos3ab's
makes me more gloomy
both touches me so deep

feel like i have million things to say
and think of
but as i sat writing
i couldn't at all

why when you need a certain phone call
it doesn't came?
why when you needed most to cry hard
you only find cold tears?
why i need badly to hear a voice and cry hard
but i couldn't pick the phone and call??
i couldn't do it

وصار صوتي
إذا دوّى
بوح كتماني..

Intj!

2007-03-30T05:35:00.000+02:00

Did that personality test a Hetchkok blog
i love tests some how it tell me more about me
and z truth i may be blinded and don't see them

You Are An INTJ

The Scientist

You have a head for ideas - and you are good at improving systems.
Logical and strategic, you prefer for everything in your life to be organized.
You tend to be a bit skeptical. You're both critical of yourself and of others.
Independent and stubborn, you tend to only befriend those who are a lot like you.

You would make an excellent scientist, engineer, or programmer.

What's Your Personality Type?

Choice

2007-03-29T04:04:00.000+02:00

So confused
There is a time you know that you've to grow up
You have to face yourself
You have to make a choice
And follow a whole way alone to get there
And discover new you and other things
Face it
Either to open the door you are hiding beside and walk
Or totally close it and accept this

Recharge

2007-03-20T23:43:00.000+02:00

like him i feel
i deeply need to recharge
and in the same time too tired
suddenly i become so low
i don't want to stand up and start

kept looking for a new job
left the old one by a personal decision
5 months ago

was so depressed getting over a heart break
and couldn't force myself any more to do something
i don't like or respect
i was about to turn to a governmental employee

all i wanted to leave all this

After i stayed at home
and start getting over things
emptiness was driving me to become nuts
in z same time grandma sudden illness
leave me with no choices

Now i got a new job waiting
and I'm away from being happy
though i was saying i need it badly
need to back to track again
but i feel i can't

Become too lazy and too scared

Meeting people talking
start studying again for the new field
start waking up early and walk in z crowded streets
all of these makes me feel tired and scared

Felt like those months were life time
a whole age changed me more and more
become a real loner
more nervous
silent

too tired to stand up

You Don't Own Me!

2007-03-03T02:22:00.000+02:00

Check this video

I found it while i was searching for the song
Funny :)
The song from "The First Wives Club" movie
By Bette Midler, Goldie Hawn, Diane Keaton
I saw it few days ago
and enjoy it

From Soul To Soul

2007-02-26T04:47:00.000+02:00

Sometimes coincidence brought you gifts
This movie was one of them
Really very touching and spiritual story

It talk about 4 close friends and how each one spent her summer vacation
And how they get away from each other for the first time
But still connected and support each other and even sending this magic pant
to each one

I loved most of all tippy story and how she met Bailely
Young 12 yeas old girl who get the pants by mistake
And how she loves what tippy trying to do
"making a reality movie"
and she offer to help

They were like tom and jerry at the beginning
till tippy discovered that Bailey
is sick
deeply sick
She had blood cancer"Leukemia"
She stop fighting with her
And they kept interview people from street
about life and what the wish and what they do

I really loved Bailey a lot
How she loves life though she knows she is ill
How she stand against her illness
How she have strong and deep feelings
How she think
As if she had 40 years experience about life and what inside
How she support people and try to give them light

Really the character enter directly to your heart
with her tired face and smart glowing eyes
and smile

It breaks my heart when she died at the end
And how they spent time together
And how tippy brought her the magic pants
wishing that it could save here

I could hardly hold my tears because i wasn't at home until i became alone

But if you see the movie
You 'll understand what i mean
check this video
Also this

These are some quotes i loved in the movie
Sometimes they simply touch me
Others just strike your heart and make you think
And have many questions without answers!!

Bailey:
Maybe the truth is there's a little bit of loser in all of us you know,
being happy isn't having everything in your life being perfect.
Maybe it's about stringing together all the little things like wearing these pants,
or getting to a new level of Dragon's Lair.
Making those count more than the bad stuff. Maybe we just get through it
. And that's all we can ask for.

Lena: All my life, everybody has seen me a certain way. What do you see?

Lena:[in her letter, after Kostas accuses her of being afraid to love him]
He's right,
Car. I am afraid.
There's a part of me that wants to let him in
but then I feel myself put this wall up and I don't understand why.
Maybe that's what strikes me most about Kostas:
that despite everything he's suffered he can still look at life in the most uncomplicated way.
I've never known that kind of faith.
It makes me so sad that people like Kostas and Bridget who have lost everything can still be open to love...
while I, who have lost nothing, am not.

Kostos: Some people show off their beauty because they want the world to see it. Others try to hide their beauty because they want the world to see something else.
...................................................
Tibby: Oh man, you were right, and I was wrong, but I'm... I'm wrong about most people, so...
Bailey: The important thing is, you always change your mind about them.

..........................................

Tibby: I brought something for you... ta da.
Bailey: The Traveling Pants.
Tibby: Yeah, I just got them back, from Lena.
Bailey: The one in Greece.
Tibby: Yeah, she said that we were right all along
and that the pants are magic and
I don't know the details but I do know Lena and for her to say that means...
that it must be true...
so I was thinking that maybe you could have them for a while.
Bailey: They don't fit me, remember?
Tibby: [in tears] Yeah,
I know, but that doesn't matter...
none of it really matters...
you have to take them, Bailey...
okay, you have to let them help you... please.
I know that you're tired, okay,
but you can't give up, the Pants will give you a miracle,
you have to believe.
Bailey: The Pants have already worked their magic on me. They brought me to you.

Bailey: I want you to do something for me.
Tibby: What?
Bailey: Finish your movie.
Tibby: Why?
Bailey: Because you can.
......................................................

Goodbye Winter Afandi :)

2007-02-25T00:58:00.000+02:00

Finally manage to visit Merit , Madboli and El Shorouk and buy some books
not many as i'm broke these days
"Usually all days :) i don't love keeping money"
And all the new books i want are expensive

Anyway i was so happy
I don't know why walking in Tahrir and Downtown
makes me happy

I love walking
But i really enjoy walking there
It give you another taste
The crowded streets
People voices
Old buildings
Stores
Newspapers and magazines on the ground
Yellow lights
Million of things

Due to my Grandma illiness
I can't go out alot
And after leaving work
I don't go out now everyday

Being out today remind me
That i love that time of the year
Not the weather
But the whole scene

Winter is leaving
Rains will come for one time or may be two and say goodbye after that
Blue sky and sun with fresh air at the morning
Trees without leaves
but it start to dressed
Green and spring colors start to appear
in gardens and and in the streets
and even people clothes

I love following trees and flowers
Waiting for them to grow and appears

At my way to work
I used to check them every morning
seeing them growing
makes me happy

So
I had a good night last night
Wishing you enjoy ur day and night too :)

Falling

2007-02-15T08:52:00.000+02:00

Shocked and depressed
I was putting lots of hope
Lots and lots of hope

Just sitting watching the mail in disbelieve
I couldn't even cry
Not except when i start writing these words
I didn't thought I'll be so sad like this
But i can't help it
I know it is god's well
el7amdolelah

Wrote them yesterday
After i wake up i feel much better
I don't regret passing through it
In a way it was fun
and i learned many things
even had experience
I'll try again one year or so isa

thanks god i already accepted in other place

Tip For All Guys..Don't Forget ; )

2007-02-14T07:37:00.000+02:00

Percy:If you're gonna marry one of these women
sometimes it's gonna hurt like hell
And all you can do is admit that you're wrong
and know that she's always right.

Simon Green: She's right?

Percy:That's right.

Simon Green:Always?

Percy: Right.

Simon Green: Right.

Percy:That's right.

Simon Green:All right okay,
what about all that talk about my dignity?

Percy: Do you love her? Do you want her?
Then she's always right.
...............
Happy Valentine Everyone

Far And Away..Just Like That

2007-02-10T11:28:00.000+02:00

A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is
better and greater than a "Yes" merely uttered to please,
or what is worse, to avoid trouble. ...

My twitter sent it to me from IHeartQuotes
.........
and This one too

"Remember -- that
which does not kill us can only make us stronger."
- "And that which *does* kill us leaves us *dead*!"
(Carpe Jugulum)

I'd Have Standed There Forever

2007-02-07T07:37:00.000+02:00

Wake up feeling so cold and low.

I don't know, such weather make me feel gloomy

I love it when it rains

I love to walk down raising my hands feeling it

On my hands and on my face

And pray by whatever I wish

Then washing my face by my wet hands

I love the street after it rains,

And how it become so quite and empty

I love them after rains washing them

And how the trees become so green and beautiful

As if, the whole universe become so quite and calm

Even myself

I've read once that these rain droplets are the sky tears upon earth and us

She is sad because of all what she sees around the whole earth and inside every one of us

She couldn't stand all this pain so she cries us

She cries the whole humanity!!

Anyway, I wrote these words 2days ago

As I said, i felt so gloomy especially by the weather

I hate it when everything become in gray

While the winds making these sounds like crying

And dust everywhere

It makes me sad

Thanks god it finally rains

For sorrow, I didn't see it I was sleepling

When I wake up and the morning came

I found sunrays, blue sky, and fresh air

It makes me so happy

I stand in my grandmas' balcony watching those rays, people walking in the wet street, big buldings beside the Nile and sunrays reflection on its windows

I wish I had the camera

These days I can't watch the Nile

Before sometimes, the trees grow covering the scene

But they used to cut it and I get it back

Now the stupid club builds new wedding halls

Of two floors and so, it is gone forever :(

Yesterday was great

I wish I could take along walk

I couldn't but I Enjoyed standing there

Getting worm lights, watching and thinking for so long

Thanks god

5 Things You Don't Know About Me

2007-02-07T05:31:00.000+02:00

Very late but I found Blue'S tag yesterday and here I'm answering it

*Most of times look quite but in the same I'm a very nervous person
Sometimes I compare myself with Grinch. hehe

* I used to scared so much from feathers when I was a kid
My relatives used to tease me and annoy me with this.
"I had that bad dream of being attacked by a ghoul covered with feathers!"

* Scared from loosing people I love.

*Feel so old and little kid in z same time
Still love running from sea waves, riding bicycles
Eating lots of chips with vinegars

*I used to think that after people died and buried
Trees grow from their heads in the grave!! Neah haah haah
"When I was very little I visited my grandpa grave with my uncle and
my grandma, they were pointing to places saying here buried this person
and they pointed to place saying my grandpa buried there.
There was a small planet where they pointed,from here I got that idea" :)

Selfish..I'm Gonna Be

2007-02-02T01:38:00.000+02:00

Like this angy sea,
this how i feel inside
I can't believe it!!
Why he is always doing this to me??
Makes me feel like a piece of chess
he wants to move
And all she has to do
is being in the right place
where he wants her to be!!

Dad
You are ignorning that i'm not a ten years old girl anymore
And you still don't know your own daughter
Like you never let me in and makes me know you

You still can't get it
And act like you are getting me some sweets
And of course naturally you expected me to run getting them
While being so happy

But I'm not
I'm not going to get any
And I'm far away of being happy by ur action
And my angry reaction

This is my own future
My own job and my own way
This is not sweets you can offer
You push me once
And make me choose a way and a study
i didn't love

It took a lot of me
those years took a lot of me
Till i manage to fit with it
I've paid alot through them

I'm not going to do it again
just to please you
and you have to accept this

If this mean i'm selfish
Then i'll be

Soul Mate

2007-02-02T00:15:00.000+02:00

That's just it, she's everything I'm not.
You know, she's my other half. Without her I'm not whole.
You know the thing about
meeting your other half is you're walking around,
you think you're happy, you think you're whole,
then you realize you ain't shit without her.
Then you can't go back to being just a half
'cause you know what it's like to be whole
.....................................
From Guess Who Movie Quotes

Trains And Believing!

2007-01-20T01:53:00.000+02:00

One thing about trains...
it doesn't matter where they're going.
What matters is deciding to get on.
....................
From The Movie

In Your Day.......MLk Day

2007-01-15T22:22:00.000+02:00

If i want to say something to you
I'll only say that i really want to saw you
from long time ago
when the child saw a movie about you and how you die
Because of a great dream
Because you ask for a right
Because you say with the loudest voice

I've a Dream
People believe
People gather

Can't tell you now it become true
But I'm still dreaming like you
Trying to follow your steps

And if u are watching
you will see that child sitting here celebrating your memory
and your dream

And never forgetting you
And never stop wishing if she was there
ON UR SIDE

Dreaming of You

2007-01-13T16:00:00.000+02:00

Like that girl
That is exactly where i want to be
and what i want to do
Just standing in front of you my dear old friend
watching your waves chasing each other
till it come to me then i run laughing
Hearing you and your strong voice
Talking to you and listen carefully
Smelling the air
Looking to sun lights
Feeling its warmth even in sand beach
under my feet

You can't imagine how i miss you
and miss being with you
Just you and me

First Love

2007-01-08T13:05:00.000+02:00

LOOK back with longing eyes and know that I will follow,

Lift me up in your love as a light wind lifts a swallow,

Let our flight be far in sun or windy rain--

But what if I heard my first love calling me again?

Hold me on your heart as the brave sea holds the foam,

Take me far away to the hills that hide your home;

Peace shall thatch the roof and love shall latch the door--

But what if I heard my first love calling me once more?

The Flight

"Sara Teasdale"

1984-1993

What shall the person do if his 1st love kept call??

What is a first love??

Is it caring about someone??

Or loving how he is and how he act??

Or none of these

Can it be from one side??

Or from both sides at different time??

Or from both side at the same time??

Or feeling strongly the warmth and caring

Even if he is not the best ..well mannered or well dressed

All of that at that moment doesn't matter

U only saw the soul

I don't know

I can't find an answer

Sometimes u meet certain person who

make u feel angry

And you become full of anger and dislike

And u act like this

And never figure that he care

Till u discover u were blind

and u understand it all

And run

Start to escape from what u always run away off

U break every single step u could share

U make it die before it born

Then time goes by

Fate separates people by distance
But one day

U suddenly wake

Full of strange feeling and missing

Some thing born in ur heart??

after everything end and gone?!!

This happened with people we cared for

Even close friends when we start to put walls

And then real walls put itself by time

And life threw everyone on a new way and u start saying

I really did...

But what could it be if i let this show??
.............
"This was written long time ago"

Seeing Blue last post
make me remember that Tv series
And when i start look in my mail
for what i saved about it and about the auther
For sorrow i found i either lost it or i don't remember
where and by what name i saved it
Instead i found that mail and those questions
I sent to a very dear Friend on the radio
Long time ago
He was talking about first love
And his thoughs makes me think

At that time i though i may have some feelings
for someone who used to have some feeling for me
while i didn't even notice
and was disliking him
After taking different roads
I remembered him with a flash back
Suddenly i found that missing feeling
I didn't know what to call
So i wrote these words and sent it to Osama
And totally forgut about the whole thing

Thanks to Blue i found it this morning
And i couldn't prevent a BIG smile

After having a fist real love
And losing it because of circumstances
against our well
And after getting over it

I know what is a real First Love mean
It is not calling back
But it have that taste that make you remembering it with a worm childish smile

It have a different taste
that will kept
even with any true love
................
Sorry for make it long
But i had to get it out
Even for myself ".

CLose...Far Away

2006-12-31T10:10:00.000+02:00

Sam: So I saw this episode of "Lassie" today.
And Lassie was accused of a crime she didn't commit,
and the Ranger was coming to put her to sleep.
Maggie: Uh-oh. How's Lassie going to get out of this one?
Sam: Well, the little boy told Lassie that she had to go away,
far away.
Maggie: For her own good.
Sam: Yes, but you see, Lassie couldn't leave.
Lassie just couldn't leave the boy.
Maggie: What did he do?
Sam: He told her he never liked her. He said,
"I hate you, Lassie. I hate you. You're a bad dog."
Maggie: That must have made Lassie sad.
Sam: Yes, it did. Lassie trotted off, very sadly.
But you know what happened? Lassie came home, Maggie.
Maggie : Did the little boy make it with Lassie?
Sam: Yes. Yes he did.

.....................
Addicted To Love movie

somehow i still remember that part and i love the story
sometime you yourself want to set lassy far away
cause you urself might hurt her
in the same time u know deep down inside
she is very close
and you can not imagine
losing her

Take 5 Minutes Flashing Back

2006-12-28T06:29:00.000+02:00

Like her, Christmas time makes me a little bit sad.

This year I remembering her a lot and how she felt about

Christmas time winter songs and all this.

Few days ago, i found myself repeating the song,

searching and downloaded it…

Till now I hear it zelion time and while doing it

remembering lots of memories,

Many people even that little kid I was once…

And with all these memories, there was a worm smile and missing

Lots of missing, not for a particular thing or a person,

Just missing

So all I want to say

Try to remember good old times while you listen to that song

Sad Child

2006-12-11T15:04:00.000+02:00

Two days ago i was watching a movie

a bout Natallie Wood's life

How she start acting at the age of 5
and how she suffered alot in her life
because of her mother and her obsession of fame.

One time she breack her arm while shooting a scene

She refuses to take her to a doctor so she could act

She even told here if u marry and get pregnant, you'll die.
I always sympathy with people acting

Being a fish in pool is not a good thing at all

Marlyn Monro in the movie saying something about acting

And how you start acting so young and continuously

As time go by you become an expert

And you start watching yourself acting all the time.

Natallie's movies are listed here

Some nice photos u can find them here and here

Huge Scary Wave

2006-12-10T12:22:00.000+02:00

Check this out
I don't know thought i love any thing blue
and ofcourse love the waves
But always love to watch it rather than being in it
I always ask my self what does that beauty blue hide inside??
What anger could it appears suddenly??
Then my dear friend will turn to ... a moster!!
A monster that doesn't have any mercy on people
But still i can't stop loving him
and his sound and waves.

Don't HAve Much To Say,Leave It To .....

2006-12-02T00:09:00.000+02:00

Clint Eastwood..Holliwood Good Guy

2006-11-09T07:12:00.000+02:00

Watched a program about Clint Eastwood by coincidence on MBC2
And as I love the guy
Not only as an actor
Also as a smart director
It was nice to know more about him
I loved the The Bridges of Madison County movie
Was really a sweet one.

Check the huge number of movies in his page

really unbelivable!

While Swing

2006-10-13T13:25:00.000+02:00

Is that what happened?
you swing like a kid then you suddenly fall ..
It was meant to be
You finally get it
And you don't regret it
Niether the joy you felt up there
nor the pain of the fall

They say life is what happened while making plans
I guess it really true
That is why i feel i didn't really live except
when i was up there with no plans

Rest..all they want is to rest

2006-09-16T02:08:00.000+03:00

Watching a movie about them today
Make me think…
Even these huge big creatures some times feel
That they are so tired
And there is nothing left to live for
So they surrender
They stop fighting waves and going out to take a breath
They just go to the nearest coast throw themselves on it
Rest on sand in quite
And from time to time make sounds
As if they saying aaaaah

Sometimes people come to help them
Fight for them
Help them to breath
And sent them again to the sea

They feel thier love
carry some of this love and hope and go back

Other times no one come
Or they resist more and die in a quite peaceful way

I'd love to hear thier sounds and see them on truth
May me I would one day!

2006-08-01T14:34:00.000+03:00

Life As Cartoon Movie!

2006-06-11T00:07:00.000+03:00

These days I keep on wondering
Why we can't have simple life
as in cartoon movies!
Even bad people in cartoon not so evil
Why we complex everything

I also think in FIFI

how simple her life is

No lots of thinking

No feelings of emptiness

Nothing of these zelion things

that full our minds

No complex life

Or complex realationships

No zelion considerations

No tying stuff

I don't know

Sooner Or Later Will Fall!

2006-05-27T18:56:00.000+03:00

Irwin: [Winter is trying to compromise with Irwin] No. Not OK! It's too late, Colonel.

Winter: Too late for what?

Irwin: For your offer. The men don't want to salute. They don't want to use rank. They don't want better food and they don't want more TV. They just want your resignation... and so do I. Winter: My resignation?

Irwin: You're a disgrace, Colonel! A disgrace to the uniform! You should not be allowed to retain your command!

Winter: Then I guess I'd better go pack.

Irwin: I think you should.

Was watching a movie on mbc few minutes ago
An old one but really interesting
It describe what is happening these days
It called “the last castle” for Robert Redford
The movie describe life in military prison
Soldiers who made mistakes and kept in prison for these mistakes
And ruled by sadist person who like to humiliate them
And want them to obey him all the time
And how they hate it and sick of it
And start their revolution until they manage to do it
All the way he gets angry and acts like crazy and hit and kills people
Thinking that he would stopped them
He couldn’t see any thing except that he rules… he wins… he hits…
He says yes I’ll let u do it, I’ll allow
No I own you and u can’t even think or say u WANT to do this or that
And like raging rhinoceros he run in anger shaken the ground destroying
Till he finally stuck in tree trunk and fall!!

Yates: I thought there was one thing that you should know, when they take the castle the are going to hang the flag upside down.

Winter: Upside down?

Yates: It's the international code of distress.

Winter: Yes I know what it means. Where exactly do the plan to get a flag?

Yates: They already have one... Yours.

Winter: My Flag?...

Where All The Stupid Words Gone???

2006-05-24T00:21:00.000+03:00

Somehow i can't find them..
I open my mouth but no sounds heard!
no words go out !
Igrap my pencil and papers but they don't want to come
like other things stollen in the way
Tears,Giggles,Screams...
I don't know what else i have lost along the way!!
U can't force them to return
U can't imitate them
..................
So u'll have to live and u don't
Watch in slince feel all the sparks inside..
And that is it..
U can't put them in words

Finally Manage To Sleep Well ",

2006-05-20T00:31:00.000+03:00

You Are My Neverland

2006-05-12T22:16:00.000+03:00

J.M. Barrie: You can visit Neverland any time you like.

Peter Llewelyn Davies: How?

J.M. Barrie: By believing, Peter. Just believe.

...............

i beilive in never land

i belive in fairy tales

i belive in dreams

you are my neverland

we have our own neverland

don't you tell me you don't have one??

don't you have a neverland of ur own

a place a poerson a dream

milion of things u kept inside

grap it when life become so cruel and tuff

like these days

i was watching the movie

and till now i can't stop tears

those tears i was looking for for the past week

and it refuses to come

as in the past

it refuse to give me relive

the only one left was those very little in the eye

hurting you with pain

finally it come real tears

i feel i want to cry the whole world

i want to cry everything around

but again i back

i'm feeling again as a human being

i have hopes as long as i still have dreams

these dreams will help me to go on

wish it help us all

2006-05-12T01:04:00.000+03:00

Really Missing It!

2006-04-25T17:49:00.000+02:00

Do you think that this worm and safe exsist these days?

and in this country?

Can you be sure that you will be protected if you are a child?

a son?daugther? a wife?what ever!!

Will you be able to protect who ever you loves?

Will you be able to protect ur kids?

..................................................

The problem is ..from what ??

and the enemy is not known

or may be it is the whole world

starting from ourselves passing by government, terror,...........till devil itself!

How can you protect or be protected from all these in a country that burn from inside??

Egypt these days exactly like a women suffers from "cerebral hemorrhage"

نزيف ف المخ اللى بيقولوا عليه ده لو لسه فيه اصلا

But know one knows what her illiness is

no one can tell

they see her pains her screams

and can do nothing for her

till she falls

Really miss this feeling of safe and worm

Can't sleep well

Can't say everything is ok

In Summer But It Felt So Cold...Don't Know!

2006-04-21T00:22:00.000+02:00

To You

2006-04-06T14:10:00.000+02:00

Happy Birthday Day
Wishing you the best
And thanks for being here

Lovely Song

2006-04-04T08:20:00.000+02:00

You fill up my senses
Like a night in the forest
Like the mountains in springtime
Like a walk in the rain
Like a storm in the desert
Like a sleepy blue ocean
You fill up my sensesCome fill me again
Come let me love youLet me give my life to you
Let me drown in your laughter
Let me die in your armsLet me lay down beside you
Let me always be with you
Come let me love you
Come love me again
Let me give my life to you
Come let me love you
Come love me againY
ou fill up my sensesLike a night in the forest
Like the mountains in springtime
Like a walk in the rain
Like a storm in the desert
Like a sleepy blue ocean
You fill up my senses
Come fill me again

Words and music by john denver

i really do love the song very much
and john denver as well
i found it so true and so sweet
thanks for her!

Happy Mother's Day (",)

2006-03-21T08:32:00.000+02:00

"M" is for the million things she gave me,
"O" means only that she's growing old,
"T" is for the tears she shed to save me,
"H" is for her heart of purest gold;
"E" is for her eyes, with love-light shining,
"R" means right, and right she'll always be,~Howard Johnson~

Miss it!!

2006-03-13T03:37:00.000+02:00

2006-03-11T15:04:00.000+02:00

lots of feelings i had when watching the movie

still didn't translated them to thoughts

but the movie really really great

not every one will love

as i saw in z cinema last night

i don't know why?!

may be we don't want to see the truth

the truth about ourselves i mean

yes this is reality

not fake and make up

this is every one of us

this is the insides

and the crashes with the outsides

this is our discrimination to ourselves

before any one else

i really had a peaceful night yesterday

that i thank god for.

2006-03-11T14:38:00.000+02:00

Lara : How far can bullets go?

Daniel : They go pretty far except sometimes they get stuck in something and they stop.

Lara : What if they
don't?

Graham: It's the sense of touch. In any real city, you walk, you know? You brush past people, people bump into you. In L.A., nobody touches you. We're always behind this metal and glass. I think we miss that touch so much, that we crash into each other, just so we can feel something.

Shereen: They think we're Arab. When did Persian become Arab?

Lara: [referring to the impenetrable cloak] He doesn't have it!

Elizabeth: [confused] He doesn't have what?

Anthony: Come on now! This is America. Time is money.

Anthony: It's just black people demeaning other black people, using that word over and over. You ever hear white people callin' each other "honky" all the time? "Hey, honky, how's work?" "Not bad, cracker, we're diversifying!"

Rick: Why do these guys have to be black? No matter how we spin this thing, I'm either gonna lose the black vote or I'm gonna lose the law and order vote!

Karen: You know, I think you're worrying too much. You have a lot of support in the black community.

Rick: ll right. if we can't duck this thing, we're gonna have to neutralize it. What we need is a picture of me pinning a medal on a black man. The firefighter - the one that saved the camp or something - Northridge... what's his name?

Bruce: He's Iraqi.

Officer Ryan: [talking on the phone] I wanna speak to your supervisor...

Shaniqua: I am my supervisor!

Officer Ryan: All right well, what's your name?

Shaniqua: Shaniqua Johnson.

Officer Ryan: Shaniqua. Big fucking surprise that is!

Shaniqua: Oh! [Shaniqua hangs up]

Graham: Fuck you very much. Thanks for thinking of me.

Jean: I would like the locks changed again in the morning.

Rick: You what?... Look, why don't you just go lie down, ok? Have you checked on James?

Jean: Well of course I've checked on James. I've checked on him every five minutes since we've been home. Do not patronize me. I want the locks changed again in the morning.

Rick: Shhhh. It's ok. Just go to bed, all right?

Jean: Okay, didn't I just tell you not to treat me like a child?

Maria: I'm sorry Mrs. Jean. It's okay, I go home now?

Rick: It's okay. Thank you very much for staying Maria.

Maria: You're welcome. No problem. Goodnight Mrs. Jean.

Jean: [rudely] Goodnight. I would like the locks changed again in the morning. And you know what, you might mention that next time we'd appreciate it if they didn't send a gang member...

Rick: A gang member?

Jean: Yes, yeah.

Rick: What do you mean? That kid in there?

Jean: Yea. The guy in there with the shaved head, the pants around his ass, the prison tattoos.

Rick: Oh come on. Those are not prison tattoos.

Jean: Oh really? And he's not gonna go sell our key to one of his gang banger friends the moment he's out our door?

Rick: Look, you've had a really tough night. I think it'd be best if you'd go upstairs right now and...

Jean: And what? Wait for them to break in? [yelling]

Jean: I just had a gun pointed in my face...

Rick: You lower your voice.

Jean: [yelling] ... and it was my fault because I knew it was gonna happen. But if a white person sees two black men walking towards her and she turns and walks away, she's a racist, right? Well I got scared and I didn't do anything and ten seconds later I had a gun in my face. Now I am telling you, your amigo in there is going to sell our key to one of his homies and this time it would be really fucking great if you acted like you gave a shit!

Jean: Do you want to hear something funny?

Maria: What's that Mrs. Jean?

Jean: You're the best friend I've got.

Jean: I am angry all the time... and I don't know why.

Christine: I just couldn't stand see that man take away your dignity.

Cameron: [to Anthony] You embarrass me. You embarrass yourself.

Officer Ryan: You think you know who you are? [Officer Hanson nods]

Officer Ryan: You have no idea.

Anthony: Look around! You couldn't find a whiter, safer or better lit part of this city. But this white woman sees two black guys, who look like UCLA students, strolling down the sidewalk and her reaction is blind fear. I mean, look at us! Are we dressed like gangbangers? Do we look threatening? No. Fact, if anybody should be scared, it's us: the only two black faces surrounded by a sea of over-caffeinated white people, patrolled by the triggerhappy LAPD. So, why aren't we scared?

Peter: Because we have guns?

Anthony: You could be right.

Ria: Why do you keep everybody a certain distance, huh? What, you start to feel something and panic?

Graham: Come on, Maria. You're just pissed 'cause I answered the phone. Ria: That's just where I begin to get pissed. I mean, really, what kind of man speaks to his mother that way?

Graham: Oh, this is about my mother. What do you know about my mother?

Ria: If I was your father, I'd kick your fucking ass.

Graham: OK, I was raised badly. Why don't you take your clothes off, get back into bed, and teach me a lesson?

Ria: You want a lesson? I'll give you a lesson. How 'bout a geography lesson? My father's from Puerto Rico. My mother's from El Salvador. Neither one of those is Mexico. Graham: Ah. Well then I guess the big mystery is, who gathered all those remarkably different cultures together and taught them all how to park their cars on their lawns?

Anthony: You could fill the Staple Center with what you don't know.

Peter: The Kings are playing tonight.

Anthony: Man, I know you just pretend to like hockey to piss me off!

Lara: I'll protect you, Daddy.

Officer Hanson: Something else funny?

Peter: [laughing] People, man... people.

Lara: How far can bullets go?

Daniel: They go pretty far except sometimes they get stuck in something and they stop.

Lara: What if they don't?

Daniel: Are you thinking about that bullet than went through your window?

Daniel: She had these little stubby wings, like she could've glued them on, you know, like I'm gonna believe she's a fairy. So she said, "I'll prove it." So she reaches into her backpack and pulls out this invisible cloak and she ties it around my neck. And she tells me that it's impenetrable. You know what impenetrable means? It means nothing can go through it. No bullets, nothing. She told me that if I wore it, nothing would hurt me. And I did. And my whole life, I never got shot, stabbed, nothing. I mean, how weird is that?

Lara: I heard a bang.

Daniel: What, like a truck bang?

Lara: Like a gun.

Cameron: I didn't ask for your help, did I?

[last lines] Shaniqua: Ahh! Oh, my God. What the hell is wrong with you people? Uh-uh! Don't talk to me unless you speak American!

Anthony: That waitress sized us up in two seconds. We're black and black people don't tip. So she wasn't gonna waste her time. Now somebody like that? Nothing you can do to change their mind.

Peter: So, uh... how much did you leave?

Anthony: You expect me to pay for that kind of service?

Anthony: You see any white people in there waiting an hour and thirty two minutes for a plate of spaghetti? Huh? And how many cups of coffee did we get?

Peter: You don't drink coffee and I didn't want any.

Anthony: That woman poured cup after cup to every white person around us. Did she even ask you if you wanted any?

Peter: We didn't get any coffee that you didn't want and I didn't order, and this is evidence of racial discrimination? Did you happen to notice our waitress was black?

Lara: It's a really good cloak.

Lucien: You watch the Discovery Channel?

Anthony: Not a lot.

Anthony: They got some good shit on that channel!

Lucien: Every night there is a show with somebody shining a blue light and finding tiny specks of blood splattered on carpets and walls and ceiling fans, bathroom fixtures and special-edition plastic Burger King tray cups. The next thing they show is some stupid redneck in handcuffs who looks absolutely stunned that this is happening to him. Sometimes the redneck is actually WATCHING the Discovery Channel when they break in to arrest him. And he still can't figure out how on earth they could've caught him! [pauses]

Lucien: Do I look like I wanna be on the Discovery Channel?

Anthony: No.

Lucien: Then get the fuck outta my shop.

Graham: I swear to you, Mom. I'll find whoever killed him.

Graham's Mother: Oh, I already know who killed him. You did. I told you to find your brother, but you were too busy for us. I'll take care of everything here. You go on now. You have better things to do.

Cameron: It's about time you realise what it's like to be black.

Christine: Oh, and you're talking about being black? The closest you ever came to being black, Cameron, was watching the Cosby Show.

Cameron: Well, at least I didn't watch it with the rest of the equestrian team.

Crash!

2006-03-11T14:17:00.000+02:00

"You think you know who you are. You have no idea"

"It's the sense of touch. In any real city, you walk, you know? You brush past people, people bump into you. In L.A., nobody touches you. We're always behind this metal and glass. I think we miss that touch so much, that we crash into each other, just so we can feel something."

"Live your life at the point of impact"

"Moving at the speed of life, we are bound to collide with each other."

Really Nice... Just Read It Carefully

2006-03-11T03:21:00.000+02:00

Some people stay far away from the door If there's a chance of it opening up They hear a voice in the hall outside And hope that it just passes by Some people live with the fear of a touch And the anger of having been a fool They will not listen to anyone So nobody tells them a lie I know you're only protecting yourself I know you're thinking of somebody else Someone who hurt you But I'm not above Making up for the love You've been denying you could ever feel I'm not above doing anything To restore your faith if I can Some people see through the eyes of the old Before they ever get a look at the young I'm only willing to hear you cry Because I am an innocent man I am an innocent man Oh yes I am Some people say they will never believe Another promise they hear in the dark Because they only remember too well They heard somebody tell them before Some people sleep all alone every night Instead of taking a lover to bed Some people find that it's easier to hate Than to wait anymore I know you don't want to hear what I say I know you're gonna keep turning away But I've been there and if I can survive I can keep you alive I'm not above going through it again I've not above being cool for a while If you're cruel to me I'll understand Some people run from a possible fight Some people figure they can never win And although this is a fight I can lose The accused is an innocent man I am an innocent man Oh yes I am An innocent man You know you only hurt yourself out of spite I guess you'd rather be a martyr tonight That's your decision But I'm not below Anybody I know If there's a chance of resurrecting a love I'm not above going back to the start To find out where the heartache began

Some people hope for a miracle cure Some people just accept the world as it is But I'm not willing to lay down and die Because I am an innocent man I am an innocent man Oh yes I am An innocent man

2006-03-03T12:58:00.000+02:00

Long time..very long time
Since this friendship started
More than 10 years
And more than person to person friendship
And I have to say
You never have been bad to me
And you always have been except
A very close sister
My young funny sister

Never felt so happy like yesterday
Seeing how happy you were
And how he seem to love you
And how you holding each other by the eyes
Also how your dear grandma happy for you doctor
And the whole family

You really deserve it and more
For how very kind and sweet you are
Still didn't get you flowers
But you deserve all the roses in the world

The Queen of Spread Sheets!

2006-03-03T12:20:00.000+02:00

In the past week I had a workshop in work
We had it in the company share holder club
So let me start describing first the place cause I fall in love with it
Small and very simple villa with nice garden with toy house and skating for kids
What I liked most in the place
Of course how simple and quite it is
But above all
All the walls painted with worm light creamy yellow
And doors and windows with white
Also the kid's room in yellow and blue full of painting
This makes me remember my dream
I said to myself
I'll be able to do it one day
I would like it to be like that (">)
People was very nice
And the company too
Though I was the only girl around
And this made me feel very lonely in away
I really wished if you were there
I always wishing that we would work together

I'll talk technical along this blog
So excuses me all
But I've to..
Can't keep all these feelings and thoughts for long
Wandering all around this tired busy mind
I have to get them out
Even If I give them out for only myself

We was discussing our needs to set initial cost
For our new software
They wanted to replace our software with a new one "the shareholder foreigner company"
We were suppose to tell them
All the reports going out from our departments
From where we get the data?
How we get it?
What report goes out using the software data base ?
How we do the other reports?
And many things
By the end of the day
I look to the flow chart showing our reports cycle
I felt terrible
Same as it looks
Very complex very unrealistic
Fact (1)
Is we keep on putting lots of data every day
In our data base system
But we can't get most of it out from the box!
Fact (2)
We put the same data in many reports we make
To make zillion reports to send
Why? Because they want it in a certain shape!!

Fact (3)
What we do totally controlled by routine and bureaucracy governmental stupidity!!
And still we have to accepted it
Even if we don't agree
The problem was to tell them this "foreigners in the workshop"
They couldn't understand why we do this or that, me either!

Try to imagine this
We do our monthly work by the beginning of the new month
But we can't send it to the people who need it
In or out the company!!
Why??
Because of the signing issue
We can't do it except when we received the governmental confirmation
And the basic reason because we have to send it to the governmental cooperation
To say ok
We agree
We already use there numbers and normally nothing wrong
But we still have to do it!!
Try to imagine how long they take to check those few numbers
More than a month!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

These things make me feel very angry and crazy

Hi
I'm miss excel expert
Don't talk to me about engineering sense or even logic
Don't ask me why

You are stupid
And ur rotine is more stupid
But we won't care about all this
We care about our money
So as long as u doing fine with the money
We won't see anything else

We even don't want you to be tired or think
We will talk our old box give you other
But
Before you couldn't get out the data
Now we will program it make it ready

It is a funny exchangeing game
Take a box they didn't train you to get data from it
In the way you want
Know the programming

And give you another
Before we program it to give you only one
Now all your needs!!

I'm really not angry from them
As persons I mean
In the contrary
So nice and cute
Also do there work in the best way
And what we miss of course
Excellent presenting and showing
And conversation

May be I'm angry from myself
Lots of time I feel these way
Why should I except it
Why can'I I say no
Why I don't go and work in some thing
Make my efforts have a value
Why can't I work in charity projects or anythings
I don't have answers
I was going to do it many times
But people around!!!

Back to this dying country
Hanged by everything around
Don't know what to say
But I miss a war
Never like them
Never be in a middle of one
But I feel we need one
Like strong slap on the face
To wake up
Leave all other things
And defend and struggle for every real thing.

Wa2elaa ... 7adelak 7o2na!

2006-02-25T22:42:00.000+02:00

Had my tooth drilled 2 hours ago !!
I really hate dentist and doctors
u feel like little guilty kid between thier hands
I almost could cry and say
"7aramet w Tamtam w enabee mesh 7akol 7aga 7elwa tanee"!
For sorrow i'll repeat it
The problem is she had to give me
two of those hoyyfiying injections
since then i can't even speak!!
my lips take one side
felt like people will laugh at me in the street ) :

p.c

"Somehow i think that me and Dad will me like Tom & Gery for ever..

don't know, dream that one day we have a worm talk

or at least we understand each other"

Sway

2006-02-25T11:04:00.000+02:00

Glowing with happiness
Feel like I'm gonna light
After back home yesterday
Really really had a nice time
It was my first concert for Omar Khayrat
And won't be the last one ISA
U can't explain how music fills you in
With different feelings and joy
Looking around seeing every one swaying with the music
Seeing him and his band swaying with it playing with
Their instruments as if they were dancing
Was more than great

2areet 7elwa awe bgad....

2006-02-20T20:40:00.000+02:00

...........................................

Spicey??

2006-02-18T16:56:00.000+02:00

Just get back from outside
was watching a movie..
before the sun say goodbye
I managed to walk in it enjoying it
and more.. beside the nile
I really had a nice time
though life goes in a very normal ordinary way
strange!!
You spend sometimes torturing urself thinking about life and yourself
and doing things make you feel you are not worthless
feeling you are alife!!
and suddenly you stop thinking

feeling fine and ok
though nothing really changed!!
then you start to feel
you need a change
a major one
you need to live on edge
to feel alife!!

I finished reading "Ya3kobian Building" like the pictures Alaa gave
and some lines
Still didn't finish "Digital Fortress" for Dan Brown
but really really feel happy for start reading again.

Africa'sWounded Lion

2006-02-15T00:43:00.000+02:00

Yes this message to
"Africa'sWounded Lion"
And Cameron best player "eto'o"
U really played so well
Don't feel guilty
It is gods well
I guess u believe in it
Cause I saw you praying in acceptance
After the match
I really think you are a very talented player
And have a good soul
And doesn't take ur rights outside
Go on ETO'O
And hard luck to Cameron.

2006-02-02T18:55:00.000+02:00

Tommorow is your big day

I can't find words right now

"except that i'll have to save 2 get u The Blinder

i told u long time i'm gonna get it 2 u when you

marry (">)"

i found this written in a card

can't wait to see u tommorow

and ofcourse the lucky guy

May u always find

happinies in one another

and in the wonderful love

that u share"

tell him congratulation

To My Favorate Blog Writer..U Deserve More (:

2006-01-31T22:58:00.000+02:00

What can I say!!
U make me cry
Really thanks ya blue
For saying it and describing it
So well and so true
Right from the heart
To the void

I just saw the title this morning @ work
And couldn't help it
I start smiling
Read the 1st lines
Then send it to all my friends
Printing it and after I finally went home
And while sitting in bed
I get them out
I read them
And I couldn't help it
Keep on touching us ya blue
With these sweet and true feelings
That touches our hearts.

There is a dream of someone

2006-01-31T22:53:00.000+02:00

I always dream of it
That person
That can be a shelter and a friend
He/she don't know me
As I don't know him
I mean we don't know how we look like
We didn't become friends
Because of the outside
The whole outside not only shape
But because of these tiny little things inside
A person not so perfect
And knows well that I'm totally away
From being perfect
But in the same time
This don't matter
In soul to soul friendship.

"The Book Story Lady"

2006-01-31T22:20:00.000+02:00

(2)
"Around The Corner"

You may find it funny
But I had some dreams long time ago
And still I hold those dreams inside
Wishing they come true one day
At least one of them
Or the heart from all of them..
The aim and the meaning come true

My dreams
These dreams actually concerning my professional life
But I always see it as a way of living life
Being something in it
And most of all doing something
You feel it deserve all your life

One of my dreams
My biggest I think
Is having a bookstore
And nursery school at the same time
Mainly for kids
May be orphanages
A one just looks like
"The Shop Around The Corner"
Where me with other people
Can guide those kids through their early life

I've always wished to be
"The Book Story Lady"
And I've always dreamt of "Shop Around The Corner"

I really believe that showing Kids books
Introducing them to this world
And above it all
Make them find their ways
Starting from their favorite childhood books

Yes I believe that our childhood books
Are part of us and what we'll be come

Every time I see the movie
I feel I'm seeing the dream of my life
I grab it from inside
Asking myself
Could it become true one day??
Can I do it??
Am I brave enough and believe enough to do it?

Talking about life dreams and life choices
Bring me to other related thing
Always on my mind
Somehow I'm strange person
And complex human being
But this not what I want to talk about
I actually want to talk about
Choices we made through the life we live
Things we've the well to protect and fight for
And most of all
Love it from the heart
Make it with love
And because of love
I really miss this so much
And this is the problem
I don't find myself in what I'm doing
Though I'm doing fine in it
And people appreciate it
But I don't taste it
I try to love what I'm doing
But there is always the picture
Of doing something with so much… I don't know how to express it
With love and believe
Taking whatever time
And making whatever efforts
To make it succeed
To feel it really worth it
At the end of each day
While thinking in bed before sleep
And to wake up feeling that
I can't wait to start doing it

It will open new doors
And hidden doors inside the soul
I'll be ready to give
And also fight for it
Whenever is required
It'll show me myself inside
Part of me that has always been there
And couldn't grape it to life.

Thanks Ya Blue

2006-01-31T21:21:00.000+02:00

U 've got mail (1)..

Have you ever felt like this?
I've seen this movie
So many times
And still I love it
And never bored from it
I love so many things in it
Every time I sit to watch it
I sit with the anxious
Of watching it for the 1st time
I feel I don't want to miss a thing
And in the same time I'm watching it
With missing and warmth for an old friend
I didn't see for a while ( :

We Were Kids!!

2006-01-28T14:21:00.000+02:00

yes can't believe somehow
that my close three friends

the funny childish girls
grow up and will engage this month..

i feel so happy and so glad

specially when you hear thier voice

and how glad they are

why i'm saying all these
don't know but
there is a feeling inside i can't express

mix between happiness and water in eyes
and missing

can't say much right now"specially when i'm struggling with keyboard as the stupid mouse died" ("<) all i can say right now i wish them all the happiness in the world

2006-01-26T11:51:00.000+02:00

Don't have much to say
Sometime words can't describe
How we feel
It really hurt
When u find yourself so helpless
And there is nothing you can do
To release the pain
You hate seeing them like this
I hate to see her like this
I wish I could kiss her pain away

Yes..People Can Be Homes

2006-01-21T17:13:00.000+02:00

To YOU
Really didn't feel glad as I felt last night
Hearing all my favorite songs and you
It has been sometime..

Thank u for being there
For being the shelter
We always find

For giving us hope and laugh in ZTALK
And inspire us and fill us with music and thoughts
In every Friday night with z Latenightcartoon
Not only for the night
But charging the battery for the whole week
And fill our hearts with things that will stay forever
You always have been there
When you were needed
You always helped

Thanks for letting us see many things
By your soul and through your eyes

Thanks for letting us think higher
Taste the words and the songs
And thank you for last night.

Attraction!

2006-01-21T16:57:00.000+02:00

Have u ever felt of this attraction before??
This connection that makes u getting close,
Hold it between your hands,
Looking at the outside,
Anxious to discover the inside,
And when u start it,
All shows up..
Whether you were right
And the inside deserve more than the outside shows
Or the outside appearance was totally fake
And u find fake inside..
Do you know what I'm talking about??
Books..
Yes books!!
No mater lists we put
And opinions we take
There is some kind of connection u find
Between u and the book
When u looking in the pages
Reading the words
If you feel it
That is it
You go buy it
Taking it home
As you take a new friend to your home
What do u think??

My Book list..

2006-01-20T16:34:00.000+02:00

Ok guys here is the list
I didn't update it except 3 or 4 books "shame on me !"
From the one of last year
Some books' names are missing
Can't remember them
Or find the papers
I wrote them in

Any way…
Here we are

(1)Davinci code "Dan Brown"

(2) Farewell army "Hemingway"

(3) Out Of The Place "Edward Saied"

(4)Living To Tell The Tale "Marquez"

(5) Love In The Time Of Cholera "Marquez"

(6) Bonjour Tristesse "Francoise Sagan"

(7) The Human Comedy " Honoré de Balzac"

(8) The Lady of the Camellia "Alexander Dumas Junior"

(9) Any book for and about" Simon Bolivar "

(10) In Search For The Lost Time "Marcel Proust"

(11) Any book for or about "Virginia Wolf"

(12) God Father

(13) Any book for "Michale More"

As for the rest books will be in arabic in the other blog (">)

That Is Why I Want To Know...

2006-01-20T15:38:00.000+02:00

Don't know
I know u may find it strange
but it really help

Ilove books
but since i started work
I didn't have time,
not only to read
but to read about new books
What people saying about books
and many other things

Also as for my friends
not all of them love reading
and if they do
they love other types
so i needed
new sourses and to know
what i couldn't reach too
and what other people think it is great and why

I went to my note
the one i write in it the books i wanted to have
books i read about
or books i read about in other people books
People i trust there taste

I found no new books added this year!
even when i thought about buying books
what should i buy
was old stuff
except two or three books

I'll start by myself and send my list

Thnx Omar for answering
And sorry for making it long(">)

Are We Living In The Same World???(3)

2006-01-17T21:00:00.000+02:00

Sorry i saw the two emails a few minutes ago
look guys
yes we have lots of problems here in cairo
we have both pictures in the same place and
that is a problem,
why i send this picture
cause i really almost cry
we should help
the inside and also the outside
if we can.

We are part of these world
and also part of muslims
and this country

Walking in the streets seeing small boys
drinking "colla"
or hiting themself
or even worst than this really
break hearts.

For a time
when i saw people asking for mony
i stop given them anything
thinking that we should not let them ask
and they can work to get money..

But i couldn't
these people are really poor
even if they trick many people to get money
but they living in cold most of there lifes.

A strange idea also cross my mind
whenever i've been ask by an old lady or man ..

I love my grandma
alot actually
she is my mum

Whenever i've been asked by old
I remember her
I imagine her asking for money
walking in the streets in cold
grabing things from the ground
and i really could n't stand it.

yes ya yehyia
we have people who suffer
here in egypt
I'll never forget
that i saw people looking in garbash
and eating from it
while me and my friends setting
in a nice resturant!!

It really hit u
As it really hits
when a man killed himself
because he can't get school clothes
to his daughters

As it also hit when u see
an old man selling one of his daughters
to be able to take care of others

very wild i guess

but look in the other point of view
see people who really help
like RESALA community for example
see people around

see if u grow up
knowing what is giving
and what is to give up for things
i guess this is more important

you should try to help
even if u just foreward this mail
may be someone else see it and donate .

When u see it also
it make u feel
how selfish u are
thinkning in your problems
as if it was the biggest in the world
and it is nothing comparing to this!

p.c

" this is a real request guys
if any one know certain comunity
taking care of street children
or "atfal el shaware3"
please inform
this is for my younger sister
she want to do something for them"

Are We Living In The Same World???(2)

2006-01-17T18:21:00.000+02:00

--- Ahmed Sultan wrote:

> Q: Are we living in the same world?????
> A: Yes we are, what kind of questions is this????
> about the pictures are realy good but tell me what
> did you do???
> We can only from Here pray for them, and pray for
> US, I am not negative person but if u want to talk
> about something talk about your community and change
> it first.
> Meant no himmulaton but guys till when we will
> keep looking at the outsiders and feel this for them
> while we are ourselves need this pity feeling
>
> Allah Yer3akom

Yahia Abdel-fattah"
HI,
Ahmed i desagree with you . We dont have such a
probrems like they do have , what do you mean by "
YOUR community ". Does that mean your family, street,
and school. what is problems do we do have . we all
eat 3 meals per day and we all sleep in our bed .
SORRY we dont have such problems but they do .
thanks

Are we living in the same world??????

2006-01-17T17:14:00.000+02:00

z Book Fair!

2006-01-17T16:58:00.000+02:00

ok guys
today the bookfaire started
and as i'm fond of books
sure i'll go ISA

what i need here
i need to have answers for

what books u want to buy when u go there?
give me an idea of these books?

what books u really liked most through life?

what books u think it really worth reading this year??

anyone know where is the real "soor el azbakeya" are now in cairo
i'm not talking about old magazines and nonethlese

really really will appreciate it if u managed to answer

cause it really help
exchanging ideas and experience about books life everything

2006-01-17T02:56:00.000+02:00

Pain is your friend, your ally it will tell you when you are seriously injured. It will keep you awake and angry and remind you to finish the job and get the hell home. But you know the best thing about pain? .... it lets you know you're not dead yet.
Viggo Mortensen (Master Chief John Urgayle) in G.I. Jane

Home

2006-01-17T00:29:00.000+02:00

Everyday happiness means getting up in the morning, and you can't wait to finish your breakfast. You can't wait to do your exercises. You can't wait to put on your clothes. You can't wait to get out -- and you can't wait to come home, because the soup is hot."
George Burns

My Life As a Fairy Tale

2006-01-16T23:38:00.000+02:00

I saw it long time ago on TV
and fall in love with it
and was laughing while watching it
If u know it u may say "yuuuch"
what is that???!
if u don't know it and watch it one day ..
i don't know u may remember me (",)
knowing why i fall in love with it
i'm like Hans somehow
i live here
put my feets on the ground
but my mind and my feelings
are at totally difrrent place
with faries..
don't have much to say now
may be i edited one day.

Creativity!!...

2006-01-14T21:07:00.000+02:00

Didn't know that this movie was about Himingway's life..

and his book "farwell army".

As human being sometime we are strange i guess

fools may be

for keeping our anger inside

strange how we find it hard to forgive or forget.

specially famouse creative people!

after seeing the movie

i respected the auther

pity the human being

including me!

Was Just a Moment Ago!

2006-01-14T20:42:00.000+02:00

• Bagger Vance: I hear you lost your swing. I guess we got to go find it.

• Rannulph Junuh: I can't do it, Bagger. It was too long ago!

• Bagger Vance: No it wasn't. It was just a moment ago.

• Walter Hagen: The meaning of it all is that there is no meaning.

• Bagger Vance: Inside each and every one of us is our one,
true authentic swing
Something we was born with.
Something that's ours and ours alone.
Something that can't be learned...
something that's got to be remembered.

I see it yesterday after a close friend advice me to watch it..
really was a good movie.
i discovered that i need "wa7ed" bagger vance
to remind me when i forget
to tell me look again and see
and that what i think sometimes
completly stupid!",
to show me how childish i'm
thnx my bagger vance.
u advice me to see it
and i realized that i already have one..
that is you.

p.c.
"marmarina i wish if u see it"
i guess u also need to see it
i also think regardless of the above
we both are bagger vance for each other
i really really need to thank u for this
thank you for showing me the world in ur eyes
thanks for making me laugh and smile
thanks for expressing the feelings that
we both sometimes feel and i can't express
thank u and thanks god for making our roads crossed.

Passed Away

2006-01-13T05:05:00.000+02:00

Thanks Guarding Angel..

2006-01-13T03:45:00.000+02:00

Finally i managed to do it..
was looking for it
for more than 3 weeks
when i open TV
That i did't touch these days
and managed to watch
one of my favorate movies..
"My Best Friends' Wedding"
goodluck i guess
and laugh when i managed to
hear "Little Prayer"
Then it started to rain
that didn't stop
we really change
I used to collect all
sadniess and roughness of
the week then i put it
on my pillow and hold myself
and sleep.
Now i miss it
as i miss my childish laugh
and light in the eyes
specially when it rains.

Unicorn Girl

2006-01-13T03:10:00.000+02:00

Never thought i'm gonna find a whole page!!
another person seeing the same sun(",)
i really adore this movie
its one of my favorate childhood cartoon
You may think it is silly to make a whole page for a cartoon
old cartoon..
and to write about it
and publish this crazy stuff
but i really don't care!!
as long as i'm sure that somebody
on the other side watching the same moon
thinking if he is not the only one who do it
and that someone might share.

kaloob w t3loob(">)

2006-01-12T02:34:00.000+02:00

When you're the best of friends
Having so much fun together
You're not even aware, you're such a funny pair
You're the best of friends

Life's a happy game
You could clown around forever
Neither one of you sees, your natural boundaries
Life's one happy game

If only the world wouldn't get in the way
If only people would just let you play
They say you're both being fools
You're breaking all the rules
They can't understand your magic wonderland
Hu-hu-hu

When you're the best of friends
Sharing all that you discover
When that moment has passed,

will that friendship last?
Who can say if there's a way?
Oh I hope . . . I hope it never ends
'Cause you're the best of friends

Widow Tweed
We met, it seems, such a short time ago
You looked at me - needing me so
Yet from your sadness
Our happiness grew
And I found out I needed you too
I remember how we used to play
I recall those rainy days
The fire's glow
That kept us warm
And now I find - we're both alone
Goodbye may seem forever
Farewell is like the end
But in my heart is a memory
And there you'll always be

Chorus
Goodbye may seem forever
Farewell is like the end
But in my heart is a memory
And there you'll always be

lyrics

this was my favorate books when i was a tiny little thing(",)
i still have it till now!
i love this book
and this strory..

it really means to me alot..

it is more than a best childhood story for me..

i remember the story when life put certain person so close by soul

but can't be closer in life "specially close male friends"

because others see this friendship from a total point of view!!

cause a fox and a dog can't be together

even if they were so close and friends..

i remeber it also when we have to say goodbye

but in our hearts to best and close friends

as we going by taking diffrenent roads in life..

i remember it when i'm looking to the moon at night

or at sunset

hearing favorate peace of music

telling my self

may be they seeing it now

may be they also listening

and wondering about me

and remember our memories togethger.

yes osama ..

"we see the same sun"

2006-01-11T20:01:00.000+02:00

To Blue
wishing her a Happy Birthday(">)
"Kol sanna wente tayeba ya blue"

البحث عن زوجه

2006-01-11T04:49:00.000+02:00

استعنا على الشقا بالله
بما انى جييت ف الوقت اللى فاضيه و عندى اجازه
و عم سهم الله مش راضى يسيبنى اكتي حتى..
ما زالت عمليه التقليب ف الاوراق القديمه مستمره..
المره دى مقاله كامله لمصطفى محمود
للاسف معنديش scanner

البحث عن زوجه!

يا سلده يا كرام..
اغلى شىء ف الدنيا هو العلم
و الانسان لا يتعلم مجانا
و انما يستخلص المعرفه بالألم و المعاناه..
من مكتبه الحياه نأخذ علمنا الحقيقى،
و ليس من الكتب و الأسفار.
و أقدم لكم أولا نفسى.
دكتور توفيق ذكريا دكتوراه ف الذره
و العلوم الذريه من امريكا
أب لولدين و زوج للمره الثانيه.

و حكايه المره الثانيه هى الموضوع.

و كالعاده كانت هناك مره ثانيه لأن الزواج الاول فشل بجداره.
و كانت فكرتى فى الزواج الاول هى البحث عن ست بيت و أم و امرأه تقدس الحياه الاسريه،
لا يهم الثقافه و لا التعليم و لا الشهادات
و اخترتها ساقطه ابتدائى تكاد تفك الخط لكن طباخه ممتازه و أستاذه فى تسبيك الصوانى و الطواجن،
و تنفيض السجاجيد و إرضاع الاطفال
لكن كالمعتاد و بعد الشهور الاولى و بعد ان شبعت المعده و أمتلأت الامعاء،
و اصبحت المسأله الطريفه حكايه مكرره فى كل ليله،
بدأ النكد يدخل الى البيت السعيد، و بدأت اشعر بالفجوه الهائله بينى و بينها
و بدأنا نختلف فى كل شىء..
و أصبح الشارع يسمع صراخنا كل ليله.
و برغم نومنا متعانقين فى فراش واحد كنت اشعر ان بيننا قارات،
و ان كل واحد فينا يسبح فى محيط.
لم يكن هناك أى شىء مشترك يجمعنا سوى طاجن البطاطس بالفرن
و صوانى المحشى و أطباق الكوسه بالبشاميل،
فإذا غسلت يدى بعد الغداء عدت الى الوحده والغربه
و كأنى مجرد نزيل فى فندق اجنبى.
عجزت تماما عن ان اشدها الى اى اهتمام مشترك
حتى ولو الى الصحيفه اليوميه و أعمده الاخبار و حوادث الاسبوع.
كانت انسانه عقلها مغلق على ثلاث غرف و صاله،
لا يهمها ما يجرى فى فيتنام و كمبوديا و نيكاراجو،
ولا يعنيها ما يجرى فى جاره عربيه قريبه مثل فلسطين.
و يستوى عندها ان تحترق لبنان او تندك دمشق او يخرج الشاه من أيران،
و يحكمها الخومينى او خلقلى او بازرجان ما دامت قد وجدت البصل فى الجمعيه التعاونيه،
و الارز عند البقال و الجرجير عند الخضرى.
فإذا حولت ان أفتح معها هذه الموضوعات اسكتتنى بغلظه، فإذا حولت ان اتلطف
ناولتى لكمه و هى تقول:
نام بال وجع دماغ أنا ما صدقت نيمت الواد.
و تصوروا ما يحدث لى يا ساده فى هذه الوحده و الغربه و الخواء
حينما اتعرف بالاخرى د.شهيره سرور
الاستاذه فى الكونسرفتوار و عازفه البيانو
و الحائزه على ماجيستير و دكتوراه فى التوزيع الكورالى
و فى الهارمونى من باريس.
السيده الناعمه الحريريه التى تكاد تذوب فى الفم من فرط نعومتها،
و المتحدثه الرقيقه الودوده و الفنانه الأنثى و النجمه التى لا ينطفىء لها تألق.
و يمكن لكم ان تتصوروا كيف اصبحت مكا لمتنا فى التيلفون
تمتد الى خمس و ست ساعات و لا نشبع،
فنلتقى على النيل ثم تأخذنى الى بيتها
لتسمعنى معزوفه رقيقه على البيانو،
ثم تحكى لى تاريخ هذه المعزوفه و كيف و متى كتبها بيتهوفن.
نسيت ان اقول لكم انها طلقت بعد زواج فاشل.
و هذا طبيعى.. فمن يستطيع ان يفهم و يقدر هذه التحفه الجماليه النادره..
و من يستطيع ان يعاشر هذا الفن الرفيع إلا اناسان ذواقه.
و لقد كنت انا ذلك الذواقه.
و لقد جننت بها حبا..و امتلكتنى حتى ملأت علىَ أقطار حياتى
و أصبحت لا أرى سواها،ولا أشرب سواها و لا أتنفس سواها.
و كان طبيعيا ان يرتمى كل منا فى حضن الآخر كأنه يتيم وجد أمه،
و أن نغرق فى حمى من الانصهار العذب الذى لا تجدونه
إلا فى الكتب و الاشعارو السيمفونيات.
و كان طبيعيا جدا ان اطلق زوجتى و اتزوجها وانا احلم بأقصى الراحه،
و بأنى قد وجدت اخيرا شقه خاليه فى صدر امرأه.
و لكن القدر خلاف الظنون،و الدنيا التى أرادها الله تعبا للكل
ما لبثت ان قدمت صوره اخرى من زواج طريف غايه الطرافه.
و اسمعوا معى نموذجا من هذا الحوار الذى يجرى بيننا
الوقت صباحا،وانا اميل عليها و أمسح على شعرها فى حنان
و أهمس فى اذنها:
- إيه رأيك يا حبيبتى..ناكل ايه النهارده..
- زى إمبارح يا حبيبى.
- إحنا مكلناش امبارح يا حبيبتى.
- لحقت تنسى سندوتشات الامريكانا اللى جبتهالك معايا.
- نفسى تعملى لى الملوخيه بتاعتك..ده انتى ملوخيتك تجنن..
أنا قربت انساها بقى لك شهر مطبختيش حاجه.
- مش حاسه أنى عايزه أقف ف المطبخ.
- أمال حاسه بايه؟
- حاسه بانى عاوزه أدور حوالين الهرم و أسمع كاسيت لشوبان.
و أخذها معى الى الهرم.
و نطوف حول مقابر ألاسره السادسه و نحن نستمع الى مقطوعه القمر لشوبان،
و تسرح فى التاريخ و الجغرافيا و الحكيم أمحوتب.
و أقطع حديثها محاولا ان اكون رقيقا غايه الرقه.
- لكن أظن ان أمحوتب يا حبيبتى كان يأكل..و كانت زوجته حبيبته
تصنع له أشهى ألاطعمه.
- لا أظن انك تخلط يا حبيبى بين أمحوتب و أبو شقره..
- عيبك انك لا تقرأ كفايه فى التاريخ.
- لقد قرأت و قرأت حتى جعت من كثره القراءة..
و نشترى كنتاكى ف الطريق
و نعود الى البيت،
و تتمدد على الفراش و تسرح
ثم تبتلع حبه فاليوم، ثم حبه ليبريوم
و أحاول القتراب منها فتقول فى فتور:
- سيبنى شويه.
- مالك.
- جوايا تعبان .. حاسه جوايل بكآبه و ضلمه و عتمه
و ليل..الدنيا جوايا ضلمه أوى.
_ أنا يا حبيبتى أنورهالك.
فتنظر الىً نظره فارغه كأنها لا تعرفنى إطلاقا.
و كأنى رجل لقيط التقت به صدفه،
و أخذته إلى بيتها و قدمت اليه طعاما على سيبيل الإحسان ..
و أن عليه أن يرحل و أن يعود إلى حال سبيله دون كلمه.
و أقترب أكثر و أهمس فى حنان
- حبيبتى أنا جنبك.
- أنا عندى صداع يا توفيق ..أنا مش شايفاك
و لا شايفه حد.
و أهتف فى أعماقى:
يا نهار اسود عليك يا توفيق.
و على بختك..ثم أعود فأحاول أن أتودد إليها.
- أجيب لك كولونيا تنعش!.
- سيبنى لوحدى..نفسى أقعد سنيين لوحدى..
سنين.. سنين..نفسى أحط الحمل اللى على كتفى و أنام.
- حطيه على كتفى أنا
- جوايا كلام كتير مش عاوز يطلع..
كيانى مسروق منى..بدور على عنوان نفسى مش لاقياه
متهيأ لى أن مشيت ف الشارع الغلط.
- أنا مش فاهمك.
- أنا أخترتك من بين أربعين مليون أنسان
عشان تصورت إنك حاتفهمنى و تحس بىً.
- حاأحس بايه يا حبيبتى ده أنتى معيشانى ف ألغاز..
ده أنا بانام مع أينشتين.. أنا الدكتور ف الذره و الالكترون
و العلوم النوويه و اللى مسكت الالكترون مش قادر أمسك أفكارك.
- نفسى نبعد عن بعض شويه يا توفيق.
- نعم..؟
- يعنى كده تسافرلك كام يوم إسكندريه تغير جو عشان توحشنى شويه.
- كمان.. أكثر من كده..ده أحنا بقلنا شهرين ماقربناش لبعض.
- كمان شهر .. ميجراش حاجه.
- ده أنا بقالى خمس شهور بقلك اعملى كيكه تبصى لى كأنى باتكلم مالطى أو هيروغليفى.
- ياه دنا نسيت خالص حكايه الكيكه ديى..عجيبه..اللاه يضحكك يا شيخ..
- و كل ده و أحنا ف شهور العسل أمال بعدين حانعمل ايه..
ده انتى بتكلمى البيانو أكتر منى.. بتعرفى عن فطور شوبان و مزاجه الشخصى
أكثر من اللى بتعرفيه عتى.
كل يوم برجع تعبان بعد يوم مرهق من الشغل المتواصل ف العمل
ألاقيكى يتقوليلى عندى انغلاق ذاتى و تقلص نفسى و انكماش روحى..
اجى المسك تقوليلى.. سيبنى شويه..حاسه الشمس بتغرب جوايا..
عاوزه أموت..أتلاشى..
و مره تقوليلى حاسه سقف عقلى وقع،
و ان جدران قلبى اتهدت..
و فيه حاجه بتسوينى بألارض..
و مره تقوليلى..
العصافير بتغنى ف صدرى ..
عاوزه كل الرجاله يبوسونى،
و أشد شعرى من الجنون فتقوليلى:
- ماهو كل الرجاله يعنى انت يا حبيبى..
من امتى أنا حبيبك و انتى عايشه ف فلك و أنا ف فلك..
توصلنى منك كلمه بالتلكس و تضيع ألف..
أنا وحيد يا شهيره..وحيد.
- أمال احنا ف حضن بعض ازاى.
- ساكنين بالصدفه سوا ف نفس الشقه ف الدور الثانى على النيل.
و بنبص احنا الاثنين للسقف.
- بالضبط هو ده الشىء الوحيد اللى مشتركين فيه ..
للدرجه دى ممن يتغير الناس..امال فين الدموع و الآهات..
فين أغانى الحب..كانت معزوفه بيانو..
عمود شعر فى صحيفه يوميه اتقطعت مع الايام و بقت ورق تواليت..
ساعات بحس ان مش بس لازم نبعد كام يوم..
ابدا ده احنا لازم نتعرف على بعض من جديد..
لازم نقابل بعض صدفه ف الصالون الاخضر،
واعزمك على شاى ف جروبى و اسالك على نمره تليفونك..
و اقولك اسمك ايه يا مدام.
- صحيح فعلا.
- احنا مش متجوزين يا حبيبتى..احنا متطلقين جداز
- صحيح فعلا متطلقين.

و هكذا طلقت الثقافه الرفيعه و الدكتوراه و الماجيستير ف الكورل و الهارمونى التحفه الجماليه..
د.شهيره سرور..لأنى لم أعرف ماذا تريد و لا ماذا تحب و لا ما يرضيها..
ظننت فى لحظه ان اقصى املها ان تعيش معى..
فلما عاشت معى رأيتها تهرب منى و تعيش فى غيبوبه الفاليوم..
و تنطوى على نفسها حتى تشبه قوقعه حزن.
و شككت فى عقلى و تفكيرى و عدت أشد شعرى من الوحده و البؤس.
يا ساده يا كرام..
أنا أبحث الآن عن بائعه فجل أو بائعه جرجير..
مجرد انسانه على الفطره لأتزوجها و أعيش معها على الفطره البسيطه
التى خلقها الله.
امرأه تنظر الى زوجها على أنه ربها
و تغسل له رجليه و تطهو طعامه،
و تشاركه مشاركه التؤم فى كل ما يشركها فيه دون جدل.
امرأه تنظر الى كل ما ينطق به زوجها على انه سماوى و مقدس،
و تحبه لأنها لابد أن تحبه و ليس لأن عندها انفتاحا ذاتيا و انغلاقا استبطانيا،
يا ساده يا كرام أنا أعلن على الملأ
أنى رجل رجعى و بدائى..
و أرى للأسف الشديد
أن عصر الرجل أنتهى!.

لعبه اسمها حياه"من مخطوطاتى القدييمه"

2005-12-12T22:28:00.000+02:00

غرض للحياه..
غرض من الحياه
حاقول ف الجون بصوت عالى
حياتى متلخبطه من اسبوعين فاتوا تقريبا
فوضى حقيقيه
حتى الافكار آه منها
وكمان علالمات الاستفهام
وصلت من فتره لفكره جزئيه
كنت فاعده ف وسط قرايبى
و فاتحين الكمبيوتر
بيفرجونا شويه حاجات
و جابوا حوار محمود سعد مع عبير صبرى
بالنسبالى
فكرتى عنها
كانت انسانه سخيفه مبتذله
عارف لما تحس انك ظالم؟؟
عارف لما تحس بذنب و خزى فظيع و كسوف؟؟
و انك نفسك تقول للى قدامك
آسف حكمت عليك يا غريب بالمظاهر
وانا معرفكش
معرفش الجوهر الروح الانسان
يااه الشويه اللى شفت فيهم الحلقه دى
لغبطولى دنيتى و افكارى و احاسيسى
و صحوا حاجات كتير و اسئله اكتر
و اجابات مفيش غيرها
و مع ذلك مش لاقى الحل
انت ف حيره
و اخريتها
ليه عايشيين؟؟
ليه بنتولد؟؟
ليه بنكبر؟؟
ليه بنحب؟؟
ليه بنرتبط؟؟
ليه بنتجوز؟؟
ليه بنخلف؟؟
ليه طبيعه الدنيا كده!
ليه لازم و ليه مش لازم؟؟
ليه فيه خير؟؟
و ليه فيه شر؟؟
ليه و ليه و ليه؟؟
مبيخلصوش ابدا
و ف وسط كل ده
بيرجع الواحد يبص على نفسه تانى
ما هو مافييش فايده من الهروب
حتى و لو بصوره عدم التفكيير
حبس الافكار محاوله خنقها
ايه دنيتى
فين انا
.................
اسئله اجابتها بتقول
" و ما خلقت الجن والانس الا ليعبدون"
................
ياترى الاجابه ممكن تكون وراها مليون علامه استفهام؟؟

انا عايزه ايه؟؟
طول عمرى باقول
مش عايزه
مش بحب
طب انا عايزه ايه
ايه الكيان ده
فين دنيتى
ليه الحنين ده
الاحساس ان فيه
بنى آدم جوه محبوس
روح طاقه حياه

اخترت اكون ايه؟؟
اذا كان حياتى بقت
ف وسط بحر صاخب
وانا زى القشه
بيخدنى الموج و يودينى
ريشه ف مهب الريح

"Forest Gump"
مين منا مشفش الفيلم
انك تعيش زى فورست
انك متعرفش
و لا انك تقف و تفكر
و تعرف
مهما كانت المعرفه مؤلمه

قلت مش عايزه اكون شريك
مقدرش اكون جزء
و شفت طريق طوويل قدامى
لازم اقطعه لوحدى
وحده فراغ حياه فاضيه
باقول لازم اعمل حاجه
اديها كل حياتى
هدف معركه لعبه
بدل لعبه الجواز و الشركه
لعبه كبيره تعوض كل ده
بس هيه ايه؟؟
و انا ف دراسه مبحبهاش
و ماخترتهاش
و مجال بعيييد اوى اوى
انى افكر انى اشتغل فيه
و بعييد
انا بامشى ليه؟؟
ايه الفايده ف علم مبينفعش صاحبه
و مش قادر يفيد بيه غيره؟؟
ايه الفايده ف حياه بالشكل ده؟؟
و رنت ف و دانى
كتيير اوى
كلمه عبث عبث عبث
لغايه ما كنت على شفا
انى اصرخ
لا لا لا
مش عبث
انا متاكده نم كده بس الاقى ضوء
الاقى طريق
و سكه
و اتعلم ازاى استخدم المجاديف
املا حياتى
بحياه بجد
و ناس كتيير
ميخلونيش احس انى وحيده
او انى ندمانه على اى شىء

الخوف من المجهول
ساعات بتخلى الواحد يمسك بأى شىء
أو أى انسان
بس ده ظلم للى قدام الواحد
لما تكون واخد قرار
مقدرش اقول مش حاحب
لاننا بنتنفسه و من غيره نموت
لكن انك مش حتربط نفسك
برباط القلوب الصغير ده
ولا ابدا تربط غيرك و حياتك بيه
انك قافل على قلبك باب
مفتاحه معاك
و تلاقى عابرى السبيل
بيخبطوا و عايزيين يفتحوا الباب
او عايزينك تفتحه

ساعات بتتنازع معاك حاجات
انك ممكن تساعدهم و تسمعهم
و تداويهم بس
مش زى ما هما عايزين
و انك كمان ساعات
بتحس انك تعبت
و محتاج تستريح
وانك بكده انانى
حتظلمهم معاك
حتديهم امل زايل و زايف
مش حقيقى

عشان متكونش وحيد
حتوارب الباب
و هم يقعدوا جنبه على
امل انه يتفتح
و ده مش صحيح
عشان انت متحبش حد
عمرك ما حبيت حد
حب الرباط ده عمره مكان عندك
متقدرش تحب كده
و لا تتنازل ولا تدى اوى او تضحى

انت عايز ايه بالظبط؟؟
ايه الحكايه؟؟

مليت حياتك بالفراغ و بالتفاهه
عشان تبعد عن التفكيير
خفت تفضل تفكر و تقف
و تعرف و تنجرح
بطلت كل ده
و طوول عمرك مش بتتحرك
لما اتحركت
اتحركت زى الاعمى
سيبت نفسك للموج
بايديك رميت المجاديف

لكن اللى ف الروح ف الروح
انت مش حاجه تافهه
مش ريشه ف مهب الريح
فيه حاجات بتتخانق
عايزه تعيش
عايزه تتطلع للوجود
فيه بحار قديم جواك
لو اتفتحله الطريق
حيجدف
حيفتكر و يجدف
و حيشق الموج العالى

عايز تصرخ تهز نفسك
نكسرله القيود

فهمت حاجه
ارجوك؟؟

وست الورق لقيتها
بقالها كتيير
من ساعت ايام الدراسه!!
ياه احنا بجد كبرنا

wake with music in the air

2005-12-01T14:35:00.000+02:00

مين مش بيحبها؟؟

2005-11-22T22:55:00.000+02:00

الفتاة الفقيرة التي غنّت في الرابعة عشرة اصبحت رمزاً للبنان لا يفارق وجدان العرب... فيروز تطفئ شمعتها السبعين في عيد الاستقلال
بيروت – عبده وازن الحياة - 22/11/05//

تطفئ المطربة فيروز اليوم سبعين شمعة، محتفلة بعيد ميلادها السبعين الذي يصادف عيد استقلال لبنان. ففي الثاني والعشرين من العام 1935 ولدت نهاد حداد في بيت فقير من بيوت حي «زقاق البلاط» البيروتي، من أب يدعى وديع، هو من السريان الذين هاجروا من مدينة ماردين، وأم تدعى ليزا البستاني. وإن ولدت فيروز او نهاد (اسمها الأصلي) قبل عيد الاستقلال الذي أُعلن في الثاني والعشرين العام 1943، فهي ما لبثت ان أضحت رمزاً وطنياً يلتقي حوله اللبنانيون على اختلاف مشاربهم وانتماءاتهم.

قد تبدو سيرة فيروز الشخصية خارج مسيرتها الغنائية ضئيلة في وقائعها، فهي تزوجت من عاصي الرحباني في العشرين من عمرها منضمة الى الأسرة الرحبانية كزوجة ومطربة في الحين ذاته. وكانت اصلاً تعاونت مع الرحبانيَين عاصي ومنصور قبل الزواج، بين عامي 1949 و1955. وإذا كان حليم الرومي اكتشفها قبل عاصي وأطلق عليها لقب فيروز عندما كانت تغني في الإذاعة اللبنانية، فإن الأخوين فليفل، محمد وأحمد، كانا سبّاقين في تأليف اغنيات فردية لها وتلحينها، وبعضها أنجز في الإذاعة السورية وإذاعة الشرق الأدنى. ومن تلك الأغنيات التي باتت مجهولة او شبه ضائعة: «ميسلون»، «فتاة سورية»، «إلى سورية» وسواها. وقد يصعب تصور تلك الفتاة ابنة الرابعة عشرة، تؤدي منفردة مثل هذه الأغاني عبر إذاعات مهمة ومعروفة حينذاك في المشرق العربي.

عائلة الفتاة نهاد كانت من العائلات البيروتية الفقيرة، تقطن منزلاً تقاسمها إياه عائلة
فيروز.
اخرى، وكانت نهاد تسترق السمع الى «راديو» الجيران يبث اغنيات تلك المرحلة، فتحفظها وترددها. لا تخجل فيروز من حكايات طفولتها الحزينة والفقيرة، ويحلو لها أحياناً ان تقص على اصدقائها بعضاً من تلك الحكايات، ومنها حكاية الحذاء الذي يكون ابيض في الصيف ثم يصبح اسود في الشتاء، بعد ان تصبغه لتتمكن من انتعاله طوال السنة!

لكن السيرة الحقيقية و»العامة» تبدأ بعد زواجها وانصرافها الى الغناء والتمثيل في الأعمال المسرحية والسينمائية. وهذه السيرة لا تخلو من الصفحات البيض المشرقة والصفحات السود القاتمة. فالحياة التي عاشتها فيروز لم تكن مستقرة، وهي كابدت من الآلام وربما المآسي بمقدار ما عرفت من مجد وشهرة. لم تحظ بالألقاب الكبيرة والأضواء والتكريمات إلا بمقدار ما عانت من شجون شخصية وعائلية. ولو لم تكن فيروز من طينة نادرة لما استطاعت ان تصمد حيال العواصف التي هبت في حياتها. ابنها «هلي» لا يزال مقعداً يتنقل بين السرير والكرسي المتحرك، شاب وسيم ولكن لا يعي ما يحصل حوله، ابنتها ليال توفيت في عز صباها... هذان جرحان في روحها لا يندملان مهما حاولت ان تنسى. اما الخلافات العائلية السابقة والهموم التي واجهتها فهذه امور أخرى، ليس مناسباً تذكرها الآن.

تعيش فيروز مع ابنتها ريما، متنقلة بين بيتيها، الأول في الرابية وهو البيت العائلي والثاني في الروشة. نادراً ما تخرج فيروز من البيت، وإن خرجت ففي طريقة شبه سرية، واضعة نظارتيها وإن كان الوقت غروباً او مساء، فهي لا تحب الظهور العلني بتاتاً. اما اصدقاؤها فيزورونها في منزلها، وكذلك مستشاروها وناشرو اعمالها وسواهم. حياة هادئة جداً، تميل الى ان تكون ليلية، فالسيدة فيروز لا يمكن الاتصال بها إلا بدءاً من بعد الظهيرة.

الليلة تحتفي فيروز بعيدها مع ابنتها وبعض الأصدقاء والصديقات الذين تأنس إليهم وتثق بهم. والعيد أليف وبسيط وبعيد من أي صخب إعلامي. لكنّ الإذاعات وبعض مواقع الإنترنت بدأت امس الاحتفال بهذا العيد وفي ظنها ان فيروز ولدت في الحادي والعشرين من تشرين الثاني (نوفمبر). وكانت مجموعة من المثقفين العرب اصدرت قبل شهر بياناً دعت فيه الدولة اللبنانية الى جعل يوم ولادة فيروز عيداً وطنياً. وهذا ما لا تحبه فيروز، هي التي تكره اصلاً الكلام عن الأعمار. وقد تكون على حق، فمن يصدّق ان هذه المطربة الكبيرة التي واجهت الزمن بصوتها البديع، واستطاعت ان تنتصر عليه حباً وحنيناً، لوعة ووجداً، اصبحت في السبعين؟

The article from elhayaht newspapersite.

kafafes

2005-11-22T22:54:00.000+02:00

" سأذهب إلى أرض ثانية و بحر آخر
إلى مدينة أخرى تكون أفضل من تلك المدينة
كل محاولاتى مقضى عليها بالفشل
وقلبى دفن كالميت
إلى متى سيكون فكرى حزينا ؟ أينما جلت بعينى ،
أينما نظرت حولى بإمعان ، رأيت خرائب سوداء من حياتى
حيث العديد من السنين قضيت وهدمت وبددت
لن تجد بلادا ولا بحورا أخرى فسوف تلاحقك المدينة
ستهيم فى نفس الشوارع وستدركك الشيخوخة
فى هذه الأحياء نفسها وفى البيوت ذاتها
سيدب الشيب إلى رأسك
وستصل دوما إلى هذه المدينة
لا تأمل فى بقاع أخرى ، ما من سفين من أجلك
وما من سبيل .. ما دمت قد خربت حياتك هنا
فى هذا الركن الصغير .. فهى خراب أينما كنت فى الوجود "

Friends never say goodbye...or do they??

2005-11-19T19:42:00.000+02:00

would i find it someday??...

2005-11-18T22:53:00.000+02:00

Some day out of the blue
In a crowded street or a deserted square
I’ll turn and I’ll see you
As if our love were new
Some day we can start again, some day soon

Here comes the night
Here come the memories
Lost in your arms
Down in the foreign fields
Not so long ago
Seems like eternity
Those sweet afternoons
Still capture me

I still believe
I still put faith in us
We had it all and watched it slip away
Where are we now
Not where we want to be
Those hot afternoons
Still follow me

Some day out of the blue
Maybe years from now
Or tomorrow night
I’ll turn and I’ll see you
As if we always knew
Some day we would live again, some day soon

I still believe
I still put faith in us

ofcourse lyrics for elthon jonn,from "road to eldorado" cartoon movie

Nice Quotes..

2005-11-18T02:26:00.000+02:00

"Integrate what you believe into every single area of your life. Take your heart to work and ask the most and best of everybody else. Don't let your special character and values, the secret that you know and no one else does, the truth-don't let that get swallowed up by the great chewing complacency."
"Meryl Streep"

"Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go."
"T. S. Elliot"

"If you don't go after what you want, you'll never have it. If you don't ask, the answer is always no. If you don't step forward, you're always in the same place."
"Nora Roberts"

2005-11-17T02:00:00.000+02:00

لا تصالح

ولو قيل ما قيل من كلمات السلام

كيف تستنشق الرئتان النسيم المدنَّس ؟

كيف تنظر في عيني امرأة ..

أنت تعرف أنك لا تستطيع حمايتها ؟

كيف تصبح فارسها في الغرام ؟

كيف ترجو غدًا .. لوليد ينام

- كيف تحلم أو تتغنى بمستقبلٍ لغلام

وهو يكبر - بين يديك - بقلب مُنكَّس ؟

لا تصالح

lo7a w mawaal

2005-11-17T01:52:00.000+02:00

i still go back to ur sketches,
read ur "lo7a w mawaal"
draw them for friends
many times i find what i want to express in ur words and drawings
i really wished to see u from close
to talk to u, to learn from u.
u are not there but somethings remains.